Uncertainty

Where are you now?

I always get the opposite of what I constantly dream or plan.

Like I always wanted to be as far and as cut from the russians as I possible could. Perhaps living in Sweden woods in a house without neighbours nearby. And yet I am being forcibly pushed to almost the closest place to the russians they could possibly push me.

I always dreamt about having a soulmate, the one. And yet I am alone for soon 10 years and all the attempts I had to build anything failed.

I never wanted to stay and settle in Ukraine and always dreamt for immigration. And yet, I am sitting in the backyard of the house we are renting with my mac and phone and waiting for the next deployment which might happen very soon.